A New Year's Revelation

My mother circa 1960.

My mother died from cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer) in June of 2014, and I was her caregiver. I did it because my father asked me to help, not because I was looking forward to ushering in death with a woman who didn't like me. Hence the contentious love part of "Cancer, Caregiving, and Contentious Love," which was my focus in 2014, and also the name of my blog about caregiving my mother.

I promised my friends I would write a book about my experiences, but after my mother died, I faced year after year of major losses, including my husband, my jobs, my own health, my father, my cats, my primary care physician, and--this year--my car. But, with each year that goes by, I take less umbrage with my losses. I'm stronger now. I'm less foggy and able to see the light. But, in that process, I never wrote my book. I didn't keep my promise.

When I realized on Christmas Day that I had already written the book, I was gobsmacked. Over ten years, through daily gratitude lists and Facebook posts, I documented my journey with my mother and more. So now I'm pulling together memories and writing a short blog every day about my experiences. By the end of this year, I should have a journal ready for editing.If you want to follow along with the rough drafts, the blog is located at Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love.